Diabetes can wreak havoc not only on one’s physical health, but on one’s mental and emotional health as well, and oftentimes the toll that diabetes takes will affect the entire family. If you’ve faced or are currently facing a divorce and live with diabetes, you know all too well that it adds a complicated layer that can cause additional stress, heartache, and pain. Here are some ways to protect yourself (and your diabetes!) should divorce come your way:
Court Can Be Ugly
While sometimes divorce can be civil and amicable, going to family court, especially when child custody arrangements are being negotiated or when child support is in the picture, can get ugly. Be prepared for your spouse’s attorney to bring up your diabetes management, and to propose that as a liability against your ability to care for your children. Work with your attorney around this expectation. By providing your attorney your medical records (including HbA1c results), you can defend any argument against you regarding poor diabetes management.
Leaving a Marriage Can Mean Losing Insurance
Leaving any marriage is hard, but this is especially true for people living with diabetes who rely on their spouse’s health insurance, which equals access to insulin, pump supplies, and the ability to see an endocrinologist. Divorce can be a long, brutal process, but knowing that you will lose health insurance gives you time to stock up on supplies, make much-needed appointments, and line up ways to secure health insurance before you have a significant lapse in coverage.
If you were previously unemployed, you may be eligible for Medicaid coverage in your state, or since divorce is a qualifying life event, you can buy a health plan on a state or federal exchange. Check out our resources for securing insurance if you learn that you’ll lose coverage as a result of divorce.
Vulnerabilities Are Laid Bare
As a person with diabetes, we rely heavily on our spouses for everything from helping us take a shot in an unreachable place, to grabbing us a juice for a 3 a.m. low. Losing a spouse means losing part of our support system for managing our diabetes.
If you’re experiencing this sudden loss of support (especially if you struggle with hypo unawareness), try and prepare yourself by getting a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) that can alert you if you go low during the night. Many CGMs now have a “share” option that lets people “follow” your trend lines, and also receive alerts when your blood sugar goes too high or too low. This is an excellent feature for people who live alone and want additional assurance that they’ll be safe when they go to sleep at night.
Know You’re Not Alone
You may be losing a spouse, but you have a lot to gain in terms of support, if you know where to look. For community encouragement, joining a diabetes support group, volunteering with a diabetes organization, or reaching out to family and friends and letting them know you need some more support around your diabetes can be greatly beneficial. Even becoming more involved in the diabetes online community (on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter) is an excellent way to stay connected to people from the comfort of your own home.
Divorce is one of the most stressful times in one’s life. Seeking professional counseling can help you return inward, and to start to heal so you can eventually move forward. Counseling can also prepare you to deal with the stressors of moving out, perhaps finding new employment and new health insurance, and dealing with diabetes on your own for the first time in a long time.
Although it can be hard, divorce can also be a truly freeing and necessary step in one’s life, and can lead to beautiful new beginnings. It’s important to take care of yourself and protect your mental health throughout this time. It’s never too early or too late to start (or continue) work with a licensed counselor.
Have you recently gone through the heartbreak of a divorce, while living with diabetes? What aspects of the divorce were the scariest for you, as a person living with diabetes? What tactics and coping strategies helped you the most? Share this post and comment below; we love hearing your stories!